Self Esteem Secrets For Women

Friday, April 07, 2006

What is True Happiness Made Of?

(Click here to listen to Larry Bilotta's audio recording on "What True Happiness is Made Of")

Note: (Link opens in new window)

Most people think that life is very complicated. There are many people who know that they are unhappy…but they just don’t know why. Does that sound like you? If it does, then this brief article and audio commentary will help you pinpoint exactly what area of your life is making you unhappy so you can focus on one thing at a time instead of feeling overwhelmed and confused…

It’s a fact: Happiness is made up of 7 things.

Here are the areas that make up the Relationship part of your happiness…

1. Family: Family is the important of the 7 things. It determines your confidence and happiness level as an adult. If you were raised in a supportive and loving family, chances are, you’re a confident adult who is overall pretty content with life. If your parents were unsupportive and viewed you as an inconvenience, you will carry a great burden today and struggle to be happy in life.

2. Friends: Real friends know how to give and receive. When you surround yourself with these people, you’ve got this area of your happiness covered.

3. Great Self Image: A great self image could be described as someone who is confident by not arrogant. Again, a great portion of your confidence level is due to a loving and supportive family.

And then there are the Resources that make up the remaining 4 facets of your happiness…

4. Health: When you think of your health, you probably don’t think of emotions, but in fact, your emotions have a LOT to do with your health.

5. Money: Money is not what you think. Money is actually “votes of confidence”. Confidence is nothing more than a feeling. Money IS a feeling. Money and confidence go hand in hand.

6. Time: Time is related to money. If you waste your time instead of trying to make money (either through a job, or your own business), another area of your happiness will suffer as a result: money. If you are lacking confidence, other people can take advantage of your time…which can also cost you money. The more you think about these 7 areas of your life, the more you will see how they directly relate to one another.

7. Peace of Mind: Peace of mind is the reward you get when you’ve reached happiness in the 6 other areas of life.

Want to know more about the 7 areas of life that make up true happiness? Go to Chapter 10 in Softhearted Woman Hard World to learn more about what true happiness really is. Even if your home life as a child was “less than desirable”, and your confidence is suffering as a result, you can still live happily as an adult today. Find out how.


  • This miniseries video helped to explain the process of the event triggering the thought and iTV triggering the feelings and then the behavior, which was helpful for us visual learners. What it didn't show is how to stop this 'bad' chain reaction happening. That is what I need the most.
    I have ordered the book to check this out in more detail. Just a comment - does everything have to be a promotion of the book? I got a little turned off by the promotion at the bottom of every email in the 7 series.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 11:07 PM  

  • The DVD explains most of this. To stop the triggering events from taking over. There is process that involves the SAW, STAMP, and the story.

    By Blogger WayneSkutt, At 2:27 PM  

  • I have to agree with "anonymous" that the video helps by putting the chain of events together. Unfortunately, I also agree that it does nothing in addressing how to break that chain.

    By Anonymous Roy, At 10:36 AM  

  • I have seen a couple of your other videos and have been reading Softhearted Woman. It is helpful to have all of these tools and I believe things are coming together for me.

    By Anonymous Barbara, At 5:08 PM  

  • These is great explanetion about what is going on in my life.I offten react by comand of my sloppy circut(amigadala).I fill confused and did not know why was I reacted this way.How do you stop it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 4:18 PM  

  • I find the video very helpful. With the newsletters you understand what it is but the video visualise it more clearly. And it gives you an idea of how to stop the chain reaction. You just turn of bad freddy, if you feel like getting angry by an event just think first if the event is really bad or if it is bad Freddy that makes it bad. So first think and then react. In that way you can break the chain and don't blow up events that actually mean nothing at all.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 11:42 PM  

  • I actually like the 7 part miniseries. I tried what you suggested and picked two of my favorite memories. Whenever I start feeling anxious, I revisit those memories and it really works, the ITV is "reset". I plan to use this as often as necessary. The video, I feel, wasn't as helpful. It didn't discuss the methods to overcome those negative feelings.
    Either way though, I am impressed with your suggestions and will read your book!

    By Anonymous Al, At 5:37 PM  

  • I found the video helpful. It helps the visual learner in me understand what I had already read in a better way. Just reading this series helped me alot.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 6:53 AM  

  • As I'm a visual person I found the simple diagrams easy to understand however like several of the other comments I need to know how to stop this happening - we are always governed by past events and when a comment, particularly a negative one between my husband and I, we always use past experiences to reconfirm how 'bad' we are as a couple.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 4:09 PM  

  • I also concur with Anon. and Roy that the explanation of the process was right on, but I found myself wanting more detail on how to control it. It's like the process gives the basis, but not enough to re-direct the reaction.

    By Anonymous Mooie, At 7:23 PM  

  • I liked the the diagrams that you showed. I'd like to know where, exactly in the brain that the amyagalada is located. (A picture is worth a thousand words!)

    I am wondering too, how this works in this type of situation: (I'll use Wayne and Jane as well. Though they are not married, or involved in a romantic relationship at the time.)

    Jane asks a question - "What do you think of the girls I've introduced you to?" (NEUTRAL QUESTION - no 'right' or 'wrong' answer per se.)

    Wayne can process the question - and has several options.

    1) I liked the 2nd one you introduced me to.

    2) They all seem nice, but I'm not sure if any of them are my type.

    3) They may have been OK, but I'm just not ready to get involved in any type of relationship at the moment.

    4) To be honest, I didn't feel attracted to any of them.

    All of these answers could be 'true', and no cause for conflict, or negative reaction from Jane.

    But, instead Wayne makes up a totally fabricated lie, which comes across as being truthful, and is also and 'right answer'. And, Jane at that time, accepts it as a Positive/Neutral reaction.

    Later on, Wayne and Jane have decided to marry. An event is coming up, and Jane is unsure of how to anticipate the event. She is basing her concerns on the false information that Wayne had given in the above situation.

    Wayne then states that his previous answer had actually been a lie.

    As the marriage continues, Jane may ask "Positive/Neutral questions" - but Wayne continues to lie.

    The lies become the "Picture" on Janes iTV, that what Wayne is saying is most likely the opposite of what is coming out of his mouth.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 3:10 PM  

  • Hi Everyone ~
    I thought the video is great to add to the 4 week program, but by itself it is missing a little.
    Lucky for me - I am watching it at week 3 and have a heap of information to draw upon while watching.

    Have you ever thought of doing a mini - soap opera - to chronicle the journey of the 4 weeks, with real people. You, Larry, could be the "narrator" and explain the process while they are living it. It would help those who haven't really "seen" people behaving in a way that would benefit them.

    Take Care -

    By Blogger Green and Lovin' It, At 9:02 AM  

  • Loving this blog...
    I'm getting to happines... I knew I was unhappy in a relationship and got out of it and working through the pain but still loving him...It's going to be an interesting road...check it out if you'd like... have a good day

    By Blogger Happy-go-Lucky, At 7:10 AM  

  • The video is great. It explains my husbands extreme actions. The other materials that you make available on your website have helped me to form a plan of action so that I can act accordingly when I am able to take your course.

    By Blogger taby, At 11:13 AM  

  • i did find the video helpful and a nice visual way to comprehend the 7 part news letter. But i keep waiting for you to go into detail on how to control the 'bad voice' and how to fix it. I now have a good understanding of how the process occurs, but not how to correct the process.

    By Anonymous Simon, At 1:45 AM  

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