Self Esteem Secrets For Women

Monday, September 26, 2005

How Happy Are You...REALLY?

Everyone talks about happiness, but nobody really knows how to measure it. Sure, there are countless happiness tests and quizzes out there on the internet, but most of them are just for fun, providing you with no real insight or way to achieve the life you really want.

So I’ve created a happiness quiz called “All You Ever Really Wanted”.

To find out if your life has MEANING, you’ll rate each of the 7 most important areas of life, on a 10-1 scale.

Note: You’ll notice that three of the 7 areas of life are kids, marriage and school. If you don’t have kids right now, that’s ok, rate that area as if you did. If you’re not married now, but are in a relationship, rate your relationship as if you were married. If you’re not in school right now, so what, you’re always learning, right? So rate that area according to how happy you are with your “schooling” even if you’re just in the “school of real life.”

Directions: Rate each of the 7 definitions below. Then rate each of the 7 issues on a 10-1 scale. When you’re finished, add up your score and divide it by the top score of 70 to get your total score. Then see how happy you are on the happiness thermometer to the left of the quiz. Depending on what “Happiness Zone” you fall into, read the corresponding paragraph to get your results from the quiz.

Whether you’re in a meaningful or difficult relationship, have your partner complete this quiz and compare your scores. Why is one of you high in one of the 7 areas of life, but low in others? What are the conditions that created your score or theirs? This is a great way to begin communicating about the things that really matter…the big picture of your life.

To View the Quiz in a Larger Format or Download it to Your Desktop, Click here.

Example

Happiness Zone Meanings Below:

Happiness Zone-
Congratulations! You are a very happy person! If you are interested in where you can improve, then take your lowest score and fine tune it …OR…help someone ELSE raise THEIR score. Helping others will bring you a sense of happiness and satisfaction that is hard to duplicate in any other area of life. Look around and you can see that people at your happiness level are a rare find. Help others get to where you are if you can.

Content Zone-
You’re pretty content in your life overall. In the Content zone, you’re still missing part of what life is all about, but you’re probably going to stay in this zone for the rest of your life unless you want to reach TRUE happiness, but why? Surely contentment is a worthy goal in America today. What’s important to realize about this zone is that YOU have something that most people strive for…simply to be content. But just being content while others have a far less success in life isn’t going to meet your happiness potential. Try helping people you are related to, you work with or are in your social circle.


Distressed Zone-
In the Distressed zone, there’s a good chance you’re having difficulty dealing with people. You probably find them to be very frustrating at times. In this zone, your expectations of life are just not lining up to what you might have hoped for. You have good days and bad days with some being very difficult for you while others days go by smoothly. Consider this stressful zone to be your starting point towards a happier life. Your first step should be to focus on and try to improve the area of your life out of all 7 that is bring you some frustration, obstacles and generally occupies a lot of your energy. The reason to focus on this area is that your motivation to find answer is very high and small improvements will keep you going.


Frustrated Zone-
In the Frustrated zone, you are most likely plagued with fear, dread and intense negative emotions. People in the Frustrated zone attract other people and situations that do nothing but increase your frustration and worry. If your health and finances are not yet affected, there’s a good chance they will be soon if you don’t get do something to break free from this harmful zone. You are overwhelmed and weighed down with worry and anxiety most every day. If you don’t have depression, it won’t be far away. People in this zone will usually blame themselves or other people for their unhappiness. Consider this quiz a wake up call. If you want to improve your life, you must do something very soon or you’ll get trapped in the vicious cycle of fear and worry….and eventually end up in the desperate zone.


Desperate Zone-
This is the most dangerous zone to be in. People in this zone have lost all of their peace of mind. Crying yourself to sleep at night might be a common occurrence for you. Chances are very good that you’re in a lot of trouble financially, and have health problems with no solution in sight. In this Desperate zone, you might wish you were somebody else. You may even have enemies and few friends. This is the zone that clenches its grip more and more over time leading people to desperate measures like suicide. You NEED to do something NOW….before it’s too late. You DESERVE a better life no matter what anyone else says. Follow the steps below to get out of this zone and onto a life with far less stress.


HERE’S WHAT TO DO NEXT…
For each of the 7 areas of your life you’d like to improve, ask yourself this very important, yet simple question…

“What could I do to improve my score in this area? (Even if it’s just a small improvement)

Begin building a list of things you can do to improve your score in this one area of your life, no matter how silly your ideas might seem.

Somewhere down your list, you’ll find an idea or two that never would have occurred to you if you had not done this exercise. For example, let’s say you have a boss who’s giving you trouble at work and making your life difficult.

Remember, this is a creative exercise. Every idea does not need to be a good idea. They CAN be silly ideas. In fact, many of them SHOULD sound silly to you so that you keep you writing and thinking of new ideas. Far down the list of ideas you could act on, you’ll find an idea that will work best for you. Don’t stop writing until you have at least 30 different ideas.

Your long list might include ideas like:

1. Put in your transfer to a different department.

2. Buy him doughnuts.

3. Buy him flowers and a funny card

4. Meet with him and ask how we can resolve this conflict.

5. Write him a nice note and leave it on his desk every morning.

6. Become the top performer in my area and see how he changes

Be sure to start with the one area of life where you have the most frustration and work ONLY on that ONE AREA until you see an improvement.

Keep in mind that you’re trying to think of little ideas that are within YOUR control. Don’t make a list of things that you would never do (like quitting your job). It won’t do you any good to make a list unless you can ACT on the ideas you come up with.

Keep this exercise in a place where you can find it again. Now you can give your life a “tune up” and gain a perspective you wouldn’t have had otherwise. Remember; don’t stop doing this exercise until the one item you’ve been working on is actually raising your happiness score. Once you’ve seen a difference in your happiness, move on to the next area of your life that’s giving you trouble.

Feel free to send this quiz to a friend. They’ll thank you for it!


If you have any questions, comments or success stories, email me at: larry@selfesteemsecrets4women.com


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