Self Esteem Secrets For Women

Friday, September 16, 2005

The “Missing Ingredient” that Tony Robbins and other Success Coaches DON’T Talk About

Most likely, you’ve seen and heard success coaches preach the typical motivational jargon before….

“Seeing is believing.”

“Focus is the key to success.”

“If you believe in yourself…anything is possible.”

Sure, these “catch phrases” SOUND good, and maybe they’ll inspire you for about a day or two, but when the inspiration wares off, where does that leave you?

That’s right….back to square 1.

Did you know that personal success coaches like Tom Peters and Anthony Robbins have openly admitted that 90% of the people who buy their books or courses DON’T READ THEM?

A whopping 90% of people, who have every intention to put into action what they learn, eventually fizzle out, lose interest or simply give up.

Why is that? More importantly, how can it be? If you have everything you need to succeed in life at your fingertips, then why the sky-high “personal success student drop-out rate”?

Let’s try an exercise. Here’s a list of 5 success-driven principles that if you follow consistently, will help you reach your goals in life.

1. Believe in yourself
2. Set daily goals
3. Stay focused and committed
4. Maintain a good attitude
5. Always do more than is expected of you

Now how many people do YOU KNOW of personally, that live by these principles every day of their life? Chances are…very few.

Now what if Tony Robbins HIMSELF PERSONALLY showed up at their doorstep and CONVINCED them (in his high-energy and inspirational style) that if they CHANGE THEIR WAYS and start to follow these 5 philosophies, their life will improve immediately?

Would they change their ways THEN? Maybe…for a little while.

But most people would choose the path of least resistance and eventually fall back into their old ways and habits.


When you understand the principle of the Invisible Lifestyle, you’ll know that every person is programmed by the adults who raise them.

There are two kinds of children who accept these programs from their parents.

1. Children who accept their parents’ values completely and then grow up to duplicate every habit, interest and tradition of their mom and dad.

2. Children who reject almost every habit, interest and tradition of their mom and dad.

The fact is, the vast majority of people in America are “programmed” by their parents to live a middle class lifestyle.

The “program” for this level of financial success is imprinted right into the child's neuron network, or brain cells. Any ideas that might conflict with these programs about money, wealth, success or status in society, will instantly be ignored. This is the reason why wealthy adults generally produce wealthy children and poor adults have children who stay in poverty throughout their adult lives.

So what about all the success literature in the self-help market that says ANYBODY can be successful…if they just WANT to?

That's easy for them to say and certainly, their message of a more financially secure future sounds tempting to most everyone. But the problem is; most people who attempt to be successful in a new venture or business take on a higher level of responsibility than dad or mom ever attempted.

These “ambitious” people are usually held back by their Invisible Lifestyle program that asks "Is this new endeavor lined up with what you’re programmed to do?”

If the answer is no, the Invisible Lifestyle program will “silently” undo all the conscious efforts this person took to be financially successful…without them even realizing it.

Your Invisible Lifestyle is so powerful and has such a grip on you at times, that you don’t even realize it’s happening. If you want to start your own business, but your parents did not “program” you for risk, there is a very good chance your business venture will fail.

Want proof? Look at the studies of lottery winners and the time it takes them to lose their fortune. In just SEVEN YEARS, these people lose millions (sometimes billions) of dollars.

Very few lottery winners ever maintain or even grow their money. The reason? They were not programmed to have so much wealth. If you initially asked them how long they planned on being wealthy, they’d probably tell you for the rest of their life.

But if that was the case, then what happened throughout those seven years?

Their Invisible Lifestyle program quietly and subtly, day after day urged them to make decision after decision that brought them back to a level they were more familiar with.

If making thirty thousand dollars a year as a factory worker is the original program they received in the first ten years of their childhood, then that is where they will end up.

Take MC Hammer for instance. He was a young and talented black man from Oakland California who was programmed to live at an "acceptable" income level.

Due to his talent, he earned a fortune in the music business. But Hammer's Invisible Lifestyle program took over and within a few very short years, MC was bankrupt. His Invisible Lifestyle had brought him back to where he was financially comfortable.

So no matter what you pursue in life, whether it’s more self-esteem, more money or better friends, check to see if it’s in line with your Invisible Lifestyle.

Is that the way your parents lived THEIR life…or taught you to live yours?

If it’s not, did you always despise the way your parents lived and even as a young child, aspire to achieve great things in life? If so, there is a good chance you will do just that.

If you do not have fond memories of your childhood, and your parents put you down on a daily basis, it does NOT mean you are condemned to a life of more of the same.

You CAN improve your self-esteem, earn more money, or reach whatever goal you want, but you must CONSCIOUSLY be aware of your Invisible Lifestyle values if you want to overcome them.

Use the technique in my FREE special report, "Your Invisible Lifestyle: Is it Helping or Hurting Your Marriage" to overcome any destructive values that are doing you more harm than good in your life.

…and break free from those old values for good!

But some people just need a helping hand. They work best when being encouraged, with a defined path that is specific to their needs and is solution driven.

If this sounds like you and you’d like me to personally help you overcome any values that are stopping you from getting the life you really want, I have a solution for you.

Since I've gotten some requests for personal coaching recently, I've decided to offer 45 minute coaching sessions at a reasonable rate to give you the personalized, one-on-one support with the encouragement you need to overcome your destructive values or "programs".

If you’re interested in a personal coaching session with me, simply send me an email stating what you'd like to accomplish at

All the best,

Larry Bilotta


  • Larry's right!!

    I just confirmed that my wife is a Chaos Kid and I never knew it!! Now I am able to better deal with our conflict! She was abandoned and when our marriage hit the skids, she wanted to bail out like nobody's business!!
    The Invisible lifestyle has enabled me to slowly, but surely improve my life and marriage!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 10:46 AM  

  • We are doing Larry's program Environment Changer and it is changing our lives and saving our marriage. My husband is definitely a Chaos Kid and it affected our marriage from day one. He tried to overcome all the bad programming he received while growing up but never found the tools until now. I almost lost him to other relationships because he was seeking something we couldn't find but now have. I tried other programs and eventually was referred here. It is worth any price to give my husband self-esteem and see him grow into the positive and loving person we all knew was there trying to get out. Thank you Larry!

    By Blogger Leslie, At 12:27 PM  

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