Self Esteem Secrets For Women

Friday, September 09, 2005

Are YOU "Programmed" for Failure?

Have you ever wondered why some people just have it all? They’re well liked by everyone they meet, financially set and attractive…but what stands out most about them is their beaming sense of self-confidence when they walk into a room.

It’s almost as if they have a certain “presence” that gives off positive vibes.

Not everyone is this fortunate, however. There are people who wake up on “the wrong side of the bed” EVERY DAY. They are faced with low self worth, struggle to maintain positive relationships and often feel resentful towards people who are better off than they are.

So what’s the difference?

How can one person be so incredibly successful while another person constantly struggles just to get by?

The answer is that it’s all in your “programming”. So who were the programmers? Your parents of course!

It’s true. Your parents unknowingly “programmed” you to fail or to succeed. The reason I say ‘unknowingly’ is because your parents raised you the best they could based on how their parents raised THEM.

For example, let’s say you grew up with an abusive father. Your parents never encouraged you or took an interest in anything you did…ever.

Your father had a negative outlook on life because of HIS traumatic childhood so all he knew how to do was raise YOU the same way that his father raised HIM.

As a result, you grew up with a negative outlook on life (just like your dad), and you have low self esteem because nobody took the time to encourage you and take an interest in you as a child.

Is that your fault? NO! Of course not! You did not ask to be “dropped” into your parents’ household. That is the “hand” you were dealt and now, as an adult, you have to suffer the consequences.

Another example…

Imagine you were raised in a household where both of your parents were always there for you. They took an interest and encouraged you in everything you pursued. They were your role model as a child. You grew up seeing your father work hard every day and treat your mother with respect.

As a result, you grew up to be a success because you duplicated your parents’ values as your own. THEY programmed your neuron network (your brain cells) to literally recreate their behaviors for success or failure.

(read all about it in the book “Now Discover Your Strengths”)

These two examples show how troubled parents or productive parents create troubled or productive children. But there is one exception to this phenomenon…

The last example…

You grew up in a bad neighborhood with an alcoholic father. Everywhere you looked, you saw poverty, crime and hopelessness. As a child, you couldn’t wait to move out of the house. You saw your parents’ lifestyle and were DETERMINED to be not only successful, but NOTHING LIKE YOUR PARENTS.

While you were growing up, you took the necessary steps to put yourself through school and as an adult, you have a positive self image and make sure you remain financially stable. This life is possible because you always do the opposite of the way you were raised.

This is what I call “buckers”. They buck their parents’ lifestyle in the same way a rodeo horse bucks its rider. Actively pushing away the negative values you were given produces a successful life in the case of most “buckers”.

So to answer the question, “Are you programmed for failure?” Look to your parents and the way you were raised.

Now I’m not telling you to place BLAME on your parents. Your parents raised you based on everything they knew at the time. It’s ALL they knew. It’s not their fault…it’s NOBODY’S “FAULT”.

The key is to understand and accept the fact that the negative values you absorbed from your parents (i.e., fear of failure, low self worth, jealousy) are programs literally “wired” into your brain.

If you have enough discontent with these, it is very possible to change that programming now in your adult life.

Knowing this is not enough.

You must find these programs and learn how to “decommission” them. In other words, you need to know what to do and how to do it, especially if these programs seem to dictate your behavior.

Do you do things over and over that other people might call “self sabotage?

Are you attracted to a certain type of person you know you shouldn’t be around, yet you can’t help but feel attracted to?

The source of this behavior is one or two negative programs from your childhood. These programs will prevent you (or your loved ones) from a better life.

If your parents programmed you for failure…it’s NOT your fault…but it IS your responsibility to do something about it.

If you’re interested in learning how to overcome your destructive values or habits, send me an email at larry@selfesteemsecrets4women.com and I’ll send you my FREE report that will tell you exactly how to “decommission” these undesirable programs.

5 Comments:

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    By Blogger Larry Bilotta, At 6:05 PM  

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