Self Esteem Secrets For Women

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Larry Bilotta's Recommended List Of Resources that Produce RESULTS


If you're struggling with issues like negative thoughts, marriage problems, parenting or self image, but you're not sure where to go for help (or who to trust for that matter,) then take a look at the following resources...


I've personally hand picked each and every one of these resources based on the RESULTS they brought either myself or someone close to me. So you can be rest assured these are all quality books and resources. This is not just a collection of resources based on "critics opinions" or simply the fact that they were a "best seller" on Amazon. (Although I believe some of them were.)


I'm recommending these books to you simply because they've produced RESULTS. A.K.A....They made a dramatic difference in MY life or the life of someone close to me, therefore I recommend these books because I've seen them WORK.

I've broken the books up into several different categories so you can quickly skim to the topic you're most interested in...


Overcoming Your Negative Feelings
The following books support the concepts you learned about in the 7-Secrets Mini-Course. If you're still not convinced that the brain is directly connected and influenced by your emotions, these books will give you the proof you need.

1. Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
This book contains all the research of neuro scientists' findings about how your brain is directly connected to your emotions. This book proves that your ability to manage your emotions is MORE MPORTANT to your success in life than your IQ. I would strongly recommend this book because it reinforces the concepts I taught you about in the 7-Secrets Mini-Course.

http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/emotionalintel.html



2. Emotional Intelligence Quick-Book by Travis Bradberry
This book is endorsed by the Dalai Lama and Steven Covey, two of the top leaders in the self improvement industry. This book will teach you how to increase your "Emotional Intelligence" that will directly affect your relationships and your career. This is the book you should get after Emotional Intelligence because it will help you master and apply the concepts you learn about in Emotional Intelligence.

http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/quickbook.html



Marriage Problems
You should consider looking into these books if you're on the verge of divorce or if you simply want to improve your marriage or learn more about your spouse. Many of the married couples I work with have read these books and experienced life-changing results afterwards.


1. If Only He Knew by Gary and Norma Smalley
This book is for men who think that once you're married, you can just coast on "auto-pilot". It acts as a wake-up call for men who wonder what his wife's "problem" is. This book could be described as a preventative maintenance "tune-up" for your marriage. If, as a man, you're already "in trouble" with your wife, this book could be a turning point in your marriage, as it has been for many of the couples I've worked with.

http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/if_only.html


2. The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
This book was written for Christian women who believe they should be doing more for their part in their marriage. It can be a tough book to read if you're not ready. But for those who are, this book can help you create a marriage made in heaven.

http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/excellent_wife.html


3. The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott
This book was written for Christian men. If, as a Christian man, you want to follow what the Bible says about marriage, this book will help you understand what the scripture is telling you about how to be married right.

http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/exemplary_husband.html



4. The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
If you want to know what most people DON'T know on the subject of marriage, one of the best people to listen to is John Gottman, who spent 25 years in the "Marriage Labaratory". John Gottman can predict with 91% accuracy, who will divorce in 5 years. This book will help you understand marriage in a non-therapist way. He gives lots of examples of different marriage problems he's come across over the years and also provides solutions on how to overcome these problems. You'll be sure to relate to at least one of them. I would consider reading this book above all other books on marriage because if you know nothing about being married, THIS is the place to start.

http://selfesteemsecrets4women.com/7_principles.html


5. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
I highly recommend Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" if you’re lacking a certain “closeness” in your marriage. Often times we wish our spouse would treat us a certain way, but we never actually tell them what it is that we want them to do! Gary Chapman gives you practical advice on marriage by making it easy for you to communicate what you need from your spouse to feel loved…and what they need from you!

http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/gary.html



6. The "Secret Path" to Divorce by Larry Bilotta
This is a FREE, 10-page Special Report I created after seeing couple, after married couple cross the "Point Of No Return" in their marriage without even realizing it. When a couple reaches this point in their marriage, there's nobody that can save their marriage because either husband or wife has decided that the marriage is over...for good. So I created a map that couples can use to understand this "Secret Path" so they can avoid waiting until it's too late to do something about their marriage. I would recommend this report to all married couples because it gives you a perspective on where your marriage is right now and where the two of you are headed in the future.

http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/secret.html



Parenting

1. Scream Free Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel
This book will teach you how to tune in to your children's words or actions, regardless of their age or gender. It will help you avoid knee-jerk reactions that you're later sorry for. The author teaches you how to teach your kids to solve their own problems at a "kid level" and gets them in the habit of making their own decisions and living with the consequences.

http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/screamfree.html



2. Parenting From The Inside Out by Daniel Siegel
This book teaches you about how our own childhood influences the people we are today. This book could best be described as "a scientific book with a heart" that is easy to read and comprehend. The book will help you understand what's going on in all your relationships...especially with your children. As an added bonus, there are exercises at the end of each chapter to help you apply what you've learned.

http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/insideout.html



Self Image

1. Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham
This book will help you think about your strengths and how they apply to your career. The book puts out a strong message that you need to avoid thinking about your weaknesses. There's also an on line test you can take the corresponds with the book that will help you pinpoint your 5 strengths and what job you should be in to be successful in life.

http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/discoverstrengths.html


2. Your Invisible Lifestyle by Larry Bilotta
This is another FREE Special Report I wrote that will teach you what REALLY determines your success level in life. The concepts in this report are also supported by the book, Parenting From The Inside Out (listed above). Your Invisible Lifestyle affects every part of your life from your self-esteem to your marriage and even your social life. Understanding your Invisible Lifestyle is a KEY part of having a successful relationship with anyone whether it's your child, spouse, boy/girlfriend, parents/relatives or even friends. After reading this report, be sure to read the follow up report below to learn how to overcome your troublesome habits or values that are preventing you from being happy in life.

http://www.marriage-success-secrets.com/improve-your-marriage.html


3. How To "Decomission" Your Undesirable Programs by Larry Bilotta
In this FREE Special Report, I'll show you how to get over your habits or values that are causing you trouble today. Are you attracted to the wrong guys? Are you and your spouse or significant other always fighting over whose way of doing something is "right"? It's all due to your Invisible Lifestyle. This is the follow up report that goes along with the Invisible Lifestyle report.

http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/report.pdf


I hope you fully take advantage of the resources I've provided for you. Many of these books have acted as a turning point in either my life or the lives of those who are close to me. Please share them with any friends and family who you think might benefit from them as well.

To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling life,

Larry Bilotta

My Personal, Step-By-Step Plan For Reaching Goals

If you REALLY want to reach the goals you set for yourself this year, simply writing them down as a list and telling your friends about them is just not going to cut it.

Reaching your goals will not be difficult if you understand the following formula….

Consistency + Desire + Specificity – Fear = YOUR GOAL

There are 3 simple keys to setting and achieving your goals…

Key #1: Consistency

If you're going to reach a goal you NEED to be consistent. Most people jump on the “goal setting bandwagon” around New Years, setting goals for themselves with NO plan of action on how they're going to reach them.

And before they know it, they get caught up in everyday life and never think about their goals again.

This is what I call “Goal Setting and Forgetting.” Consistency is critical when it comes to reaching your goals.

Here's How To Be Consistent in Reaching Your Goals…

Have a routine.

If your goal is to lose 10 lbs by the end of the year, do something ever day (or week) that will bring you closer to that goal. It could be a morning walk before you start your day or eating at least 4 healthy meals per week.

Or maybe your goal is something that's not as “cut and dry” as losing weight. Let's say you want to improve your confidence.

To accomplish this, you still need to be consistent in your THINKING. You need to shift your ways of thinking and start a new routine. (There's that word again.) ;-)

For instance, to help you remember what you've learned from your favorite self-improvement book, you could write down on a sticky note next to your bed the key points that had the most impact on you.

Key #2: Desire

Goal setting is merely wishful thinking if you don't have a strong desire to reach your goal. You must organize your list according to the goals that you desperately want to achieve, and those that “would be nice” whether it's losing 10 lbs, finding a new job or improving your confidence.

Here's How To Separate Your "Would Be Nice" Goals From Your Urgent Desires…

Write down all of your goals that you've ever wanted to achieve. This is where Key #3 comes in, so I'll continue with Key #2 in a moment…

Key #3: Be Specific

When writing down your goals, don't just say you want to “lose weight”, set a SPECIFIC amount of weight to lose. Keep this goal fresh in your mind…and most importantly…STICK TO IT! Don't stop the routine.

Key #2: Desire (Continued)

Once you've finished writing down your SPECIFIC goals, rate your level of desire for each goal using a scale of 1-10.

(10 = Yes, I want it the most!”)

(1 = “It would be nice, but it's not too important to me.”)

When you're finished, separate the page into 3 columns below your goals. Label the first column, as “Easy”, the second as “Somewhat difficult” and the third as “Challenging”. Then re-write each of your goals into the 3 columns, including your level of desire for that particular goal.

Ask yourself, “How easy (or difficult) will it be for me to reach this goal?” and put the goal in it's appropriate category.

Now that you've organized your goals, start with the goal that is in the “Easy” column with the strongest “Desire score.”

When you reach one of your goals, (no matter how easy it may be) you’ll be mentally rewarding yourself by thinking, “Oh, I CAN do this!”

Then continue on with your next goal in the “Easy” column with the highest desire score and so on until you eventually move into the challenging column and start achieving those goals.

By the time you reach the challenging set of goals, you'll have “trained” yourself to routinely think about and consistently reach your goals, so they will not seem as difficult as they once were.

But before you start reaching your first goal, you must create your action plan for this goal. Be sure to ONLY create an action plan for the goal you're currently working on.

There is no need to overwhelm yourself at this point by thinking about your plan of action for the other goals. Write down what you're going to do every day to reach this goal.

There's an old saying that's been around for a long time…

“Those Who Fail To Plan, Plan To Fail.”

And it's true, if you don't have a clear picture of where you're going, you're simply not going anywhere. So don't skip this part of the system. It will require a bit of thought, planning ahead and discipline but it's the only way you're going to reach your goals.

No plan = no goals = The same results as last year.

Here's One Thing You MUST NOT DO…

DO NOT try to reach more than one goal at a time. It's easy to feel overwhelmed when you've got a lot you want to accomplish, so don't fall into the trap of thinking you need to accomplish every one of your goals this month…or this year for that matter.

Take your time and you WILL reach your goals at your own pace. This is not a race.

But the most important key to this system of all is to practice these techniques on a DAILY BASIS. Set aside a slot of time to re-read your plan of action to reach your current goal in the morning and at night.

So What Can Stop You From Reaching Your Goals?

I've laid out a step-by-step system you can use to accomplish your goals, so now there's now way you can fail. Right?

WRONG.

Fear of failure is what stops MOST people from accomplishing their goals. Don't let it happen to you! You will never take ACTION if you let your fear get in the way of what you want to accomplish.

Also, don't listen to other PEOPLE who try to discourage you. Some people MAY try to discourage you whether it's out of pure jealousy or just ill will. I don't care if they are family members, your very own husband or wife or your best friend.

NOBODY Knows What You're Capable Of. So It's Up To YOU To Prove Them Wrong.

So what are you waiting for? Get started on this today. This is YOUR YEAR, the year you'll prove that you can accomplish anything when you set your mind to it.

Larry Bilotta, an expert on building self-esteem, makes it easy to instantly eliminate painful feelings in 20 seconds, STOP dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself. Get your FRE.E 7-day email course at http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/self.html